Some Kids Just Need to Be Spanked

photo:  http://schausmediationinsights.blogspot.com/

Sometimes when I talk to grownups about my views about not ever hitting kids, they will tell me that "some kids need to be spanked."  To illustrate, they might describe a kid they know personally--maybe their own kid, who is grown up now.  Sometimes, they're talking about themselves as children.  They'll describe the child's wildness and willfulness, and perhaps even a refusal to "mind" the parents.  Often, they will compare the child to another child who responded differently to their attempts to influence. 

When confronted with a child's unsafe, annoying, or inappropriate behavior, after trying some things, adults commonly conclude that a spanking is/was THE ONLY thing that would "get through" to him. They assume that the wildness and willfulness would have continued and increased indefinitely otherwise.

When we say that something is needed, we mean that it is required, with a certain amount of urgency.  Something that is needed is the only thing that will do the job.  Like breathing, for example, or a dialysis treatment:  nothing else will do.

But if you spank a child, you don't really know if it's needed, because you will never know what would have happened if you didn't spank. You can't know what would have happened with effort, consistency, creativity, and a few weeks/months' worth of neural development. And I'm willing to bet that, once you give the "necessary" spanking, you are quicker to reach for that tool in the future. After all, it's required for that particular child. Nothing else could impact that child's behavior. Right?